Watching the World Go By No More: Goal #1

March 30, 2010 § 7 Comments

I’m sitting here watching the world go by. It is snowing outside. It is beautiful. This is the most snow we have had in at least a month, possibly more. And I am just watching it. Big huge white flakes just keep falling.

All I do lately is watch. It’s too much. It’s like I keep expecting my life to magically end up on a path to somewhere again. But that isn’t how things work. I have to put myself on a path. I have to work towards a path. But what path?

I’m so indecisive, so uncertain, so hard on myself and so afraid at times that I”m literally frozen. Like right now I feel stuck to this couch. I really don’t want to spend my life stuck to a couch. I’ve been trying to a write a blog entry for days now and couldn’t figure out what to write, or I hated everything I wrote, or didn’t think that justified my current mood, so I didn’t write anything. I need to break my inadvertent blogging fast and get posting again.

I end up in this frozen state too because I’m overwhelmed with all that I have to do, want to do, should do that I don’t know where to even begin. I need to make lists each day with goals that I can achieve. I was thinking that maybe I need to make three big goals for this year, that way I can say I at least did three things that were important to me this year.

I knew the first one instantly. I can’t remember when this hasn’t been a goal. And as shallow and vain a goal this may seem, it is not. It is extremely important to me and most women, probably most people.

Goal #1: Get the body I want. For right now I’d like to weigh 135lbs and be a size 8. When I reach that I will reassess.

Yes, we women are pretty obsessed with self image. And while a huge part of my desire to get fit is so that I look great in slinky black dresses and a swim suit, I just want to feel good about myself. There is nothing wrong with that. Secondly, I live in the great outdoors. I moved to small town Montana and in small town Montana you ski, hike, bike, raft, climb and a whole slew of activities I never thought I’d try in my life. And every time I’m on the mountain throwing myself down challenging terrain on a snowboard and I feel tired I think to myself how much I want to be in better shape. I want to be a better athlete.

So that is my first goal for 2010.

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§ 7 Responses to Watching the World Go By No More: Goal #1

  • Fat Al says:

    LOL – that seems to be my eternal #1 goal as well – it’s crazy how hard it is to attain, especially since it competes with genetics, as well as my other goals of spending time reading, and writing, and wine-tasting, and a 8-5 job. But overall, I think having goals is truly the best way to get out of a funk – imo, goals are the only things that really keep people moving forward; otherwise, you’re right, you’ll just drift, waiting for something to happen.

  • andrea says:

    Tori, I am right there with you. Instead of size and weight, I just wrote “Fit into my Wedding Ring. If I can fit comfortably into my ring I know I will be the right size. I got tired of writing size X and XXX weight every year only to reach it for maybe a month at at time. I agree exercise is the key — you can cut back on eating, but never feel reall comfortable unless you are exercising because then you can eat more and still not gain.

    • Tori Pintar says:

      I know we can accomplish our goals together. I will try and cook accordingly. We can motivate each other to exercise too. You know how thrilled I am to go to Body Pump in the morning.

  • Millicent says:

    i say this every year and it never seems to get accomplished. i know nobody would call me “overweight” and whenever I express that I should exercise more, the person I’m talking to always scoffs. But it’s not about vanity, it’s about being healthy. It’s so discouraging to think how in shape I was 10 years ago and knowing I’m at about 5% of that now.

    • Tori Pintar says:

      Seriously. Remember double days and when we lived and breathed exercise? How about when we thought nothing about a slurpee run after basketball (not that I want to think about consuming that much empty sugar these days with the bad wrap sugar has). Being healthy is hard, because it is about balance and our culture is much more about extremes. Obese or wafer thin. Gym crazy or couch crazy. Health is balance and I am not good at balance.

  • […] I’m not intending to be. There is so much on offer in life and I don’t want to sit and watch the world go by and all my ideas, dreams and plans with […]

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