Falling off the Wagon: Goal #2

April 22, 2010 § 1 Comment

I am doing my best at the moment to blog daily, just as I’m doing my best to run daily. However, both can be a challenge on a day like today. It was action packed starting from the wee morning hours (well, at least for a night owl like me) with Body Pump and nonstop all the way through dinner and a movie with friend’s tonight. My problem is that I’ve set these goals for myself only days ago and already I’m breaking them.

I feel kind of like a failure. I know, I know failure is a pretty harsh word. I should probably cut myself some slack especially given the circumstances of today, where I was just plain busy. BUT, I have a history of falling off my personal productivity wagon so very easy. And boy could I get into a lengthy discussion into the whys, whats and hows concerning my past of giving up or calling it quits or selectively forgetting I set such goal, but I’ll leave that for another post, or three. I do not need to feel like a failure today or most days. Like many human beings I need sleep and I enjoy enjoying the small moments of each day. For instance, my random trip to Dairy Queen for ice cream with my cousin and aunt. It added thirty seconds of pure blissful laughter to my day.

In the past couple of days the lights have clicked on upstairs. This forced break from normal life in Big Sky, or the off-season, has given me the rare gift of perspective. With extreme clarity, I can see what particular things are keeping me from taking the next big leap in my life. I’m standing on the edge of full commitment to the pursuit of my passions. I’m flailing instead of embracing my desire to do and experience so many many things in my life. (I really need a better word for this, but what one word properly encompasses the dramatic scope and variance of all the (sorry) things I hope to do? If you know of one, please tell me). Why? Well, unfortunately I will have to save that for another time when I am not at the brink of exhaustion. Also please excuse me if I sound a bit dramatic, I’m not intending to be. There is so much on offer in life and I don’t want to sit and watch the world go by and all my ideas, dreams and plans with it.

And somehow all of this brings me to Goal #2 for this year: To have a successful blog.

I’m trying to translate what successful in terms of a blog means to me. Do I demand my blog to have the readership of smittenkitchen.com where every post yields a hundred comments? No, I don’t think so. That to me would be more than success. That’s having my cake and eating it too. These three criteria, however, are what I think is a realistic way of gauging whether or not I have met my goal:

1. Know the purpose of my blog. Is it as I suggest at present, a chronicle of my experiences moving from LA to Montana? Is it about my efforts to become a freelance writer and photographer? Is it a mish mash? And if it is, what is the glue that is holding all those bits and pieces together. Figuring this out will take time, a lot more writing, and may mean I start a whole new blog all together.

2. Grow a community. So much of what I’ve read about blogging lately has been about developing a community around your blog. Right now, my consistent community is two: my aunt and a friend and ex-roommate from college. There is no set number in my head of how many people must make up my community before I can check this box off as accomplished. I’ll know when I get there, but one thing for certain is that it will involve people I have only met through blogging.

3. Write consistently. If I’m going to have a community, we need to be communing about something– my experiences as shared through my writing and photography. No more disappearing acts. No more sorry I have been neglecting you. I have to publish my writing and photography regularly or else how can I expect to build a community? How can I connect with others, if I’ve shared nothing to bring them there in the first place?

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§ One Response to Falling off the Wagon: Goal #2

  • Alex says:

    I am the exact same way. I set really difficult goals that lie outside my natural strengths (like anything that requires an inflexible routine) and then HATE myself when I can’t live up to it. We’re probably too hard on ourselves, but it’s hard not to see it sometimes as just wanting to be better.

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